A Father’s Pain

April 11, 2009 by Audreys · Leave a Comment 

As I reflect on the crucifixion of Jesus years ago, I wonder how God must have felt when He offered His Son to die as payment for our sins.  Indescribable is the only answer I can come up with.  First because we do not have the capacity to even imagine how God works, and second because we have not experienced what He has.  We lost our daughter Katelyn, and that was the most painful thing that Scott and I have ever experienced.  I can’t even imagine what it would have been like if she suffered first.  We can rest in the comfort, though, that she never felt pain.  She opened her eyes for the first time and saw Jesus. 

I have heard many people ask “How could such a Holy God stay silent as His Son was brutally tortured, shamed, beaten, and killed?” Because He knew it was the only way the relationship would be restored between Him and all of humanity.  Sin separated us from God, but through the blood of Jesus Christ, we are offered the gift of eternal life.

John 3:16 tells it all. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

If it was not for Jesus offering His life as atonement for our sins, we would not ever be able to be restored to our Father in Heaven.  “And being found in human form, he (Jesus) humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Phil 2:8  

Every time I think of how brutally Jesus was tortured and killed, though He was (and is) pure amd innocent in spirit, tears well up in my eyes.  These tears are of shame for my sin that He bore on the cross, and tears of joy that I have been forgiven.  I would be nothing without Him.

This unconditional love of our Father is such an amazing blessing.  More and more each day I want to be more like Jesus.  I trust that He has Katelyn safe in His arms, and I no longer need to need to know why Katelyn went straight to Heaven to be cradled by Jesus, rather than growing up with Scott and me.  I rest in the peace that He is in control of our lives, and we need to trust in Him.

I recently found a verse that I now hold close to my heart as we remember Jesus’ resurrection on Easter.

“…let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2

If it was not for Jesus’ sacrifice, we would never see our precious Katelyn  again.  Through Him, we know that we will.  Crying out to Jesus for his comfort, thanking Him for each and every breath we take, and letting others know how much He has changed our lives and continues to work in us is our one desire.  Call to Him and He will give you rest.  

Praise be to our God.  Thank you Jesus for the cross.

Pray For Those Left Behind

March 21, 2009 by Audreys · Leave a Comment 

After Katelyn went to Heaven, we received many cards and letters from family members, friends, church members, pastors and even people we barely knew.  Just simply knowing that so many people had us in their prayers made each day a little easier.  We could never have endured our loss without the prayerful support of those close to us.

We also received more than a few cards from people with notices that money was donated so that Katelyn would be part of a Mass or a Service conducted to pray for the dead.  There are many groups and churches that claim to be Bible-based and Christian, but I can say with true certainty that Katelyn doesn’t need our prayers, and neither do any of the other babies who were born without life.  They are with Jesus, so what prayers could they possibly need?

Growing up in a strict Catholic church and school, I remember days when as a class we would pray for our loved ones who had passed since they were supposedly in a place called Purgatory.  We were taught that when people die, they go to this place and are basically there waiting for enough people to ‘pray’ for them so that they can gain passage into Heaven.  So what about the people who choose Jesus and yet have no family or loved ones to pray for them?  Do they just stay in limbo for all of eternity?  Absolutely not. Why? The answer can be found in the Bible.  Simply put, there is no mention of ‘Purgatory’ in the Bible.  Jesus never taught about a place such as this.  He did not offer us the gift of eternal life with the stipulation that we would only see Him if enough people ‘prayed us in’.  We either choose Jesus and follow Him, or we don’t.  There is no gray area.  If you need confirmation, read John 3:16: “For God so Loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.”

Jesus died for our sins so that we could be forgiven if only we ask this of Him and repent.  Again, we have a choice – choose Jesus or choose the world. Period. 

Have faith that our babies are with our Heavenly Father.  It is only through God’s grace that we have the choice to follow Jesus and live for Him, knowing that we will see Him one day and our babies too.

 So, though we appreciate the gestures of these kind souls, we want them and everyone else to know the truth.  Heaven is the only place these babies ever knew or will ever know.  They are with our Heavenly Father.  So do they need our prayers? Absolutely not.  Jesus told his disciples in Matthew 18:3 “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven.”  

So who needs prayer? The families of these babies.  They are the ones feeling the loss.  Their babies were Still Born, just in Heaven, not on earth.