Pray For Those Left Behind

March 21, 2009 by Audreys · Leave a Comment 

After Katelyn went to Heaven, we received many cards and letters from family members, friends, church members, pastors and even people we barely knew.  Just simply knowing that so many people had us in their prayers made each day a little easier.  We could never have endured our loss without the prayerful support of those close to us.

We also received more than a few cards from people with notices that money was donated so that Katelyn would be part of a Mass or a Service conducted to pray for the dead.  There are many groups and churches that claim to be Bible-based and Christian, but I can say with true certainty that Katelyn doesn’t need our prayers, and neither do any of the other babies who were born without life.  They are with Jesus, so what prayers could they possibly need?

Growing up in a strict Catholic church and school, I remember days when as a class we would pray for our loved ones who had passed since they were supposedly in a place called Purgatory.  We were taught that when people die, they go to this place and are basically there waiting for enough people to ‘pray’ for them so that they can gain passage into Heaven.  So what about the people who choose Jesus and yet have no family or loved ones to pray for them?  Do they just stay in limbo for all of eternity?  Absolutely not. Why? The answer can be found in the Bible.  Simply put, there is no mention of ‘Purgatory’ in the Bible.  Jesus never taught about a place such as this.  He did not offer us the gift of eternal life with the stipulation that we would only see Him if enough people ‘prayed us in’.  We either choose Jesus and follow Him, or we don’t.  There is no gray area.  If you need confirmation, read John 3:16: “For God so Loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.”

Jesus died for our sins so that we could be forgiven if only we ask this of Him and repent.  Again, we have a choice – choose Jesus or choose the world. Period. 

Have faith that our babies are with our Heavenly Father.  It is only through God’s grace that we have the choice to follow Jesus and live for Him, knowing that we will see Him one day and our babies too.

 So, though we appreciate the gestures of these kind souls, we want them and everyone else to know the truth.  Heaven is the only place these babies ever knew or will ever know.  They are with our Heavenly Father.  So do they need our prayers? Absolutely not.  Jesus told his disciples in Matthew 18:3 “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven.”  

So who needs prayer? The families of these babies.  They are the ones feeling the loss.  Their babies were Still Born, just in Heaven, not on earth.   

King David’s Baby

February 9, 2009 by Audreys · Leave a Comment 

“David therefore sought God on behalf of the child. And David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. And the elders of his house stood beside him, to raise him from the ground, but he would not, nor did he eat food with them. On the seventh day the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they said, “Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spoke to him, and he did not listen to us. How then can we say to him the child is dead? He may do himself some harm.” But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, David understood that the child was dead. And David said to his servants, “Is the child dead?” They said, “He is dead.” Then David arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his clothes. And he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. He then went to his own house. And when he asked, they set food before him, and he ate. Then his servants said to him, “What is this thing that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive; but when the child died, you arose and ate food.” He said, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept, for I said, ‘Who knows whether the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.”” 2 Samuel 12:16-23

This portion of scripture begs the question, why didn’t God save David’s baby?  After all, he pleaded with God, he fasted, he spent 6 days praying for God to change His mind and save his son.  These verses were preceded by David’s affair with Bathsheba, a married woman, and his successful plot to kill her husband so he could have her as his own.  God was well aware of David’s sin, and Nathan the prophet was sent to tell David that his son would die.  God’s punishment for David’s sin was the loss of his son. 

For days David called out to the Lord for His mercy, and was inconsolable until the baby died.  Once the baby died, David’s grief-stricken heart seemed to be at peace. It is hard to comprehend until you read the last verse when David verbalizes what he believes to be true. “Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me” 

David realized that the child’s suffering was over, and that his son was now in Heaven with his Heavenly Father.  David did not turn his back on God for this loss, rather he accepted his ‘discipline’, confident that he will see his son again.  David knew that there was nothing that he could do to convince God to bring his son back to him, so rather than continuing to grieve, he showed his inner peace by those simple words. “I shall go to him…”

If there is any verse that you keep close to your heart when you go through the hard days, deeply mourning the loss of your child, be comforted by the knowledge that through the saving grace of Jesus Christ, you can and will see your baby again. 

You might be asking, does that mean that God took away my baby because of my sin? The answer is absolutely not.  Even as Christians we might struggle with that possibility and start blaming ourselves.  No matter whether or not we find out what caused our baby to die, we often shift blame to ourselves.  It is important to tell yourself over and over again that it is not your fault; that your loss was not a judgment from God for your sins; that God did not cause your baby to die. 

David knew he would pay the price of his son in atonement for his sins.  But that was before Jesus came to live among us.  Jesus Christ came here to save us and ultimately died for our sins. Jesus bridged the gap between God and man. Once we confess our sins to our Father and repent, He is faithful and just to forgive us.   So, if you are trying to find a reason, or a sin that God is punishing you for, wipe that thought from your mind.  Instead, pray for peace and God’s mighty strength to get you though this trial, not around it.  

Always remember, our babies were stillborn, but they were Still Born.